Female Orgasms, G-Spot, and the Clit

A frank, blunt, clinical level discussion of Female Orgasms, G-Spot, and the Clit

Article Under Construction... 

Illustration by Cristie Wilson, via Healthline Website

Mal Harrison, Center for Erotic Intelligence

I've been meaning to write this post for a few years. I have so many side-quest projects that this one has taken a back-burner. However, a recent post on Threads by @DoctorTammi prompted a sudden burst of inspiration. I am taking my initial comments and turning them into a post here, which I will now expand upon.

Post by @doctortammi

View on Threads

Here is my longer-form answer and expanded content...

Does the G-Spot Exist????

Yes, but, it isn't what most men, and even a lot of women, imagine it is. It's not magic, it's science, and it's fairly easy to work with once you understand the science.

I scrolled through and some answers were included part of this. But I'll add to this thread. I've taught a lot of couples this information.

Men (and women) partners, especially those with ADHD, this is your new fidget toy.

Many I've worked with imagine it's some elusive magic spot, and even have trouble finding it when doing exploration for it. You need to understand some basics about the anatomy. Humans start with a generic sexless set of reproductive organs. The two round structures either become Testes in male or ovaries in female.

The longer structure with two tubes for blood and other similar structures become a penis in males.

CLITORIS

The same blood tubes become a large wishbone structure in female. At the top of this structure is the clitoris head (the only part people usually talk about when they say Clit, and even that seems elusive for men who can't be bothered to do ten minutes of research. The rest wraps around and down. The entire structure works similar to the penis, becoming engorged during arousal.

If you work your fingers, tongue, toys, penis, etc., in, around, against, and besides this structure at any point, you will have different zones of orgasm potential.However, if you go in cold, you'll get much less of any reaction. This is like an unaroused penis. It's not nothing, but it usually becomes more sensitive as it is engaged.

Therefore, a significant amount of attention must be paid to the entire body, especially breasts, and brain (yes men, I said brain, she needs to want you and this, which is why romance books do for her what porn does for you)... The body and mind need to be aroused. Even after initial arousal, you will find it comes in stages. At each stage you will find different zones around this wishbone become sensitized, and create varying degrees of response for her.

G-SPOT

It is only at this final stage when the "G-Spot" becomes a game changer. You can find this by placing one (or two 🤟) fingers inside, up, and behind the area where the "Clit" is on the outside. You are essentially pulling against the nerve bundle on the backside of the same Clit you see on the outside.You should feel a muscle and bone wall that you pull back against, gentle but with increasing firmness as she becomes more aroused, the firmness depends on her particular sensitivity.

For many, a pumping action, pulling back against this area, release slightly, pull again is the appropriate motion. Some people call this "come hither", but work together to see what firmness levels she likes. I have found a light tickle is NOT the right method usually, which is why I think "come hither" gives guys the wrong idea.

For some, a firm pull up and back against this area and then holding it for a solid 30-60 seconds is a breath taking experience leading to multiple orgasms. Imagine holding her like you might a case of soda, actually pulling her almost off the bed (or seat). However, for some, this is too much and only hurts, experiment with her permission

You may find this area squishy and formless before arousal, and then, just like a penis, it becomes shaped during arousal. You may find that eventually there is a pad of muscle and skin developing in this area. Essentially the nerve bundle creates a region to target during arousal. It may feel like squishy pad or fidget toy

You may find additional areas around the vaginal opening and behind each wall that hold similar nerve clusters which can be activated differently during different stages of arousal, many of these regions could but may not lead some women to different kinds of orgasms in the same session

A-SPOT

For some, only some, this wishbone may extend all the way down and around the vaginal cavity. You may, or may not, find there are nerve clusters at the very bottom, exactly the opposite of the G-Spot.In this case, the exact same two fingers in, back, and then forward against the aroused walls will have a similar affect, however, you are pulling towards her anal opening but from inside the vaginal cavity. For a special few, this may be even more intense than the G-Spot. Call it an A-spot?

In rare cases, with two very open partners, two fingers inside this lower A-spot and a thumb inside the anus, pulling together and rubbing 🤌, touching your fingers to your thumb with her anal and vaginal cavity between, can send the woman's eyes rolling back into her head. But she has to be physically built with those nerve cluster and mentally open to the experience.

This A-Spot region is going to vary wildly from woman to woman, with some finding it a very negative experience, and yet others finding it the single best option, even over and above external clit or internal G-Spot stimulation. You would need to have open, honest, and safe communication around this before, during, and after attempting this.

BODIES ARE DIFFERENT

The human body has general structures it creates with DNA, which is why doctors can name certain veins and arteries because they are common to most humans, and missing one of these is a sign of abnormality. However, humans also vary from human to human, especially in the unique expression of smaller structures. While most cis-women will have the general structures in the image I provided, every woman may have her unique nerve clusters at different points in the cavity and different points of her arousal state. 

Note: Experiment with pressure, rhythm, intensity, etc. Men, often when she gets excited we want to start rushing going faster, deeper, harder. This is almost always the WRONG choice. You want that because your orgasm requires it. Hers needs steady. Once you find the intensity, pressure, and pace she wants, DO NOT CHANGE unless she asks you to do so. Think of this as a heart beat, pump, pump, pump in a steady and consistent motion.

COMMUNICATION

To take advantage of these to the fullest capacity, you will need to communicate early, openly and often.

It will require two partners who are open, honest, providing safety for each other to experiment in order to take full advantage of these arousal zones. 

Both partners need to communicate about which areas are creating which responses. I’ve had too many partners to admit out loud, and I’ve never seen two identical ones. You have to communicate about what is working for this particular human.

SAFE SPACE

Men, that means no rushing, take your time, ask her feedback but also watch her, listen to her breathing, this requires some finesse. Marathon not sprint. This also requires she feels SAFE with you. If you’ve been arguing all day, or dismissing her emotions, or even worse making her feel actively unsafe, forget all of this, none of it will work for you. 

Women, unless he’s been in counseling, he won’t tell you this, but your man needs safety too. If he is a good man, he wants to “perform” for you. He wants to do a good job. He might even want to hear he’s such a good boy! Like a puppy. lol But ultimately, he needs you to make it safe for him to get it wrong. Encourage him, give him instructions, correct his motions with encouragement and affirmation. Make it safe for him to try new techniques.

It is highly unlikely you will discover everything there is to know about your female partner in one session. Communication and experimentation, with an understanding of the anatomy discussed here and in the image provided, will be key to discovering which erogenous zones are working for this particular human person. 

Disclosure: It occurs to me that much of this post assumes a cis-hetero couple. That is partly because the invitation began with “I really want to hear from the men on this one.”, and I am in fact a male man, and I am discussing standard biological and mental differences. Many partners will be in some other form on the LGBTQ+ spectrum, I think most of this should still apply. I’ve found many women didn’t even know these things about their own body. So lesbian and non-binary folks should still learn something and find it useful, I believe.

While I could probably go on for many more pages, I think that’s enough for a Thread. Go experiment with your or your partner’s vaginal region today. 😊 Shalom! Happy Orgasms. 

End Thread /// I will come back and augment this article as time permits, but I wanted to at least have something published as it comes up a lot. // TBC...